Impractical Psychology

I went away last weekend with a couple of people from work to a family farm in the Free State. I decided to blog about these lucky individuals today…well, because you just get to know someone so much better when you spend a little quality time together. You know it is weird to think that you may sit next to someone day in and day out for nine hours (or ten) and never really get to know them. I strongly advocate more company bonding sessions…team building, whatever. Spending time with co-workers outside of the office is highly conducive to a team’s efficiency. Time outside of the work environment allows you to understand a person’s strengths and weaknesses a little better. At the end of the day, people are still subjective creatures and observations may be completely off. But it is a start!

So I decided that I would write about some of my observations of the four individuals I spent the weekend with. Off course, it must be noted that I would not dare to disregard the role alcohol played in aiding the out-of-office bonding and therefore do not judge these individuals for their behavior over the weekend ;o)

I will start off with Mr. Jimpie. Mr. Jimpie was the driver to and from the weekend destination and is highly commendable for his driving skills. So if anyone ever needs a designated driver-he’s your man!
My observations and advice to Jimpie is that drinking brandy and coke a shade below the colour of pinewood is not very good for the furniture (that he couldn’t seem to dodge when walking to and from the bathroom). Neither is that amount of alcohol very useful in keeping that which should not be said, not said. I will not mention the amount or content of disclosure, but let’s just say that Jimpie is a very informative source to have. Jimpie, was however, a pleasure to have on the trip…even if he tried to pressurize me into smoking with him or commented on how he has noticed the level of perkiness of my breasts.

Ok, tough one to follow…but I guess it would be most appropriate to move on to the person I spent the second most amount of time with over the weekend. Princess Candy made a remarkable impression on me over the weekend. She is one of the most gorgeous girls I know…inside and out. She is one of those beautiful girls who are really down to earth. Even though she won’t skip a day without her make-up, she knows how to pull a face and have fun doing it. Princess Candy, Jimpie and I partook in a crazy-eye competition…and she came in a very close second next to me. Even though Candy didn’t get on a horse, or anywhere near one for that matter, she did manage to hold her ground during the paintball match and proved to be a worthy teammate and captain.

Since I still have crazy-eyes on my mind, I will have to mention Gerrit who takes the cake. I did not manage to spend a lot of time with Gerrit over the weekend, but did notice that he is a man with a head on his shoulders and that he is going places. His knowledge and insight exceeds his years and he is a recommendable drinking partner. People tend to underestimate him, but his potential is undeniable and his sense of adventure highly contagious. Although, perhaps not as contagious as the flu. He expressed his disappointment in my lethargic demeanor over the weekend caused by my nemesis, influenza. Because I let him down so badly, I decided that it would only be appropriate to host another weekend on the farm and make it up to him! So Be Warned!!

Last but not least, Ryno was in his element over the weekend as I would suspect. Give him a fire and a beer and he’s happy. What I knew about Ryno that was confirmed over the weekend is that he is in his element when in the great outdoors. He has big dreams and the potential to accomplish them, but I think that the going back to the office on Mondays tends to make him forget that fact. Anyway, Ryno has the habit of going for walks at night when he’s wasted in the bush…so maybe one night he will stumble into a bush pig or something that will talk some sense into him. Hakuna matata, right?

I didn’t think it would be appropriate to comment on myself (will leave that for the commentary box), except to say that I make a mean crazy-eye ;o)

Thank guys and gal…it was a great weekend!

I just checked my blog posts for the month of July and realized that I have only posted an average of one blog post per week. So much for trying to blog every day! When I first made that commitment, I didn’t exactly compute weekends into the equation. Even so, I should have had at least fifteen blog posts by now for the month of July. Yes, I know the quality makes up for lack in quantity ;o) but it is still something to take note of. I have spent many hours thinking this dilemma over and pondering why I could have been so distracted, and by hours I mean I the few seconds after I realized I’m seriously lacking in posts! Anyway, all I could come up with was FACEBOOK. Yes, I blame FACEBOOK.

I was one of the pioneers in the office when it came to this new phenomenon and quickly got the hesitant addicted to poking, drawing graffiti and setting up gardens, fish ponds, etc. Just a side note: for those of you, who like me, used to wonder what the heck the point is of poking someone, apparently poking someone allows you to see their profile for a couple of days without being approved as a friend. I believe it says so in the FACEBOOK handbook… So, for all you stalkers out there that seem to be lacking friends, this is your ticket into their private lives! Woohoo!

Consequently, the conversion into FACEBOOK land was not a gradual one. Before I knew it, half of the office was becoming my friends and my boss even started a group. Check it out: The Forge Business Group. We were, however, informed that we were not to use our usual FACEBOOK lingo and were to employ professionalism when communicating within the group. I even went and changed my profile pic because I felt it might be inappropriate! So if any clients were looking to get some grub on the Forge employees….hahahahahah! Wait, can’t they still see our profiles?

And, this brings me to another point. It was fine and dandy when friends from primary and high school became my friends and could view my latestpics, favorite quotes, etc. But it’s a whole different story when your boss can check out the embarrassing pics that friends tag you in at parties or while trying to get out of the shower and what your boyfriend likes to call you on your wall. I mean, I couldn’t exactly deny my boss or only allow him to see my limited profile…ok, I confess. It didn’t exactly occur to me at the time that it would be violating my privacy. I am and have always been a strong believer in separating one’s private and professional lives, but who could have been prepared for FACEBOOK?!

As in most facets of life, one has to give a little to get a little. While privacy is not in the FACEBOOK dictionary, I must say it is fabulous finding some long lost friends and catching up with them. This is especially useful for those who have lived or simply traveled over seas. Numbers and addresses always change, but FACEBOOK is constant ;o) until everybody gets bored of it, that is.

To anyone who didn’t follow the blog due to not knowing what poking, graffiti or tags are:
WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN…STILL ON MYSPACE?!

To Candice:

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Over the weekend, I made a mistake that I have made numerous times before. Blogging about my mistake seems like a good idea, considering everyone makes a mistake every now and then. From forgetting to pay a bill to sending a sms to the wrong person…I once got an impassive sms from a boyfriend at the wrong time of the month and immediately smssed my best friend to unload all of my frustration with my other half. My sms listed all of his shortcomings in my opinion and how I could clearly see the relationship coming to an end in the very near future. Anyway, after not getting a response from her for a while, I checked my sent messages and realized that I had replied to his message and sent him my “hissy fit” message instead. Anyway, BIG MISTAKE!

The problem with mistakes is that you can’t take them back. Once you decide to take that action you are bound to your decision and your future is affected forever. Think about teenage pregnancies; even those who choose to eradicate the pregnancy, sit with the memory thereof perpetually. I know of many cases where middle aged women still sit with the guilt of an abortion. Pregnancy may be an extreme-case example of a mistake, but forgetting to take out the trash can be just as life changing. Ok, maybe not life changing, but can certainly affect your day. Think about your mother or wife waiting at home for you at the end of the day…

Usually, the average person learns to adjust their actions or choices according to the mistakes they have made in the past. For example, when having a hissy fit, make sure you send your slightly skewed opinions to the right person. Or, when not getting any love from the wifey after forgetting to take out the trash, most men tend to do so in the future. Usually, there’s a consequence that forces a change in behavior. But, what do you do when there is no consequence? When the mistake you make is measured on your personal expectations or aspiration for yourself?

What if your idea of what constitutes a mistake falls into the minority in society? You could be doing what is considered to be normal by society’s standards, and yet fall completely short of your own personal values. The problem is that my values and expectations of myself have changed drastically over the last few months and yet, I still have the same friends and live a similar lifestyle. How can one change ones cognitive definition of what is right and wrong and yet stay consistent in every other facet of life? I guess, what I am trying to tell myself is that I need to adjust my behavior accordingly. I need to rid myself of all the people and things that lead to that which I now consider to be unacceptable behavior.

Over the weekend, I changed one aspect of my behavior and expected everything else to follow. What happened was that the one small modification was overpowered by everything and everyone else and I lost the battle in the end. I feel an enormous sense of guilt for falling into the same trap and being naïve enough to think that my small sacrifice would be sufficient enough to challenge habits that were largely ingrained in my social life and encouraged by friends alike.